Buzzfeed

Ey yo! Wut up tho?

I was featured on a couple of Buzzfeed videos this month. Doing what I do best, pretending to be drunk and causing a scene. Pretty monumental stuff. Check them out!

This first one is my favorite… Because we’ve all been there right?

I think I personally have been here a bit too often… When will I learn shots hit you all at once?

Hope you enjoy. Share them. Share me. Love me. I love you.

Cassandra

Smodco Morning Show!!

Greetings! Here is the link to my first episode on the Tuesday morning edition of the Smodco Morning Show with Dan and Marty!

http://smodcast.com/episodes/tuesday-july-7-2015/

They asked me back, which is super awesome! So you can listen live on http://smodcast.com/sir this Tuesday morning (7/14/15) from 9AM-11AM. You can follow the show on twitter and live tweet @NoonerDanMarty or tweet me @CassCardenes!

NOW, this weekend on Sunday 7/19 I will be performing in “Brandonna Summer Lives, Life” at 7PM at the Hyperion Lyric Theatre and Cafe. It was written and starring my very good friend Brandon Alter and is sure to be a divine dose of tranny realness.

I just got home from a family reunion in Colorado. I’m exhausted and I have no food. So right now you can see me LIVE at Trader Joes, where I will be shopping and checking food labels like a mad woman because I watched Fed Up and am afraid to eat anything!

Watch Fed Up on netflix, it’s very good and informative.

OH! You know what, fuck Trader Joes, I’m gonna watch the first episode of Naked and Afraid XL. I had never heard of this show until yesterday when they had the “pre show” special playing on a TV at a bar, but it has my attention. A bunch of crazy people willingly getting tossed into the wilderness for 40 days? Yeah, fuck it, why wouldn’t I watch that?

Adios Turds!

A quick update!

I haven’t posted in a bit, but that is not to say I haven’t been working little children!!

Last Chanz Productions will be going into production on TWO films beginning in August that we are very excited about filming and submitting for the upcoming festival year. A drama and a comedy. Guess which one I wrote? I’ll give you a hint, the comedy stars a female in her 20s…

Next Tuesday I’ll be recording an episode of the SModCo Smorning Show podcast that I’ll post on here. It will be tons of fun and I’m honored to have been asked.

And the week after that begins the rehearsals for a new musical featuring Brandonna Summer that I have small role in. It was written my very good and talented friend Brandon Alter.

Isn’t she beautiful?

Okay! More to come you little weasels!

Cassandra

The Purse!

Check out this silly new sketch that myself and Ranko Petrovic (the Laverne to my Shirley) made. It’s starring me and my good buddy Drew Austin.

Women keep a lot of crazy things in their purse don’t they?

Also my birthday was on the 3rd and I turned 25. I don’t want to talk about it.

Adieu losers,

Cassandra

Valentines Day. Some sketches.

Well, here it is again… Valentines Day! As a single lady, I actually keep forgetting that it’s coming up. Okay, not true, I totally haven’t forgotten, BUT I don’t feel a lot of pressure leading up to it. I have nothing to expect! When you’re in a relationship I feel like it means more to you because you’re wondering what sweet gesture the other person is going to do.. Will he buy me flowers? Will he take me to crowded restaurant where we will be waited on by a miserable server who is going to be trying to get us in and out in less than 45 minutes? Will he buy me a gift? Will he PROPOSE!? It’s only been 4 months but like.. WE’RE IN LOVE! If he doesn’t propose I’ll scream….

Yup! I’m completely single! Nobody to disappoint this year! Except my friends and 50 Shades Of Grey.

fifty shades gifSpending Valentines Day wallowing in the fact that you’re alone is a complete waste of energy. Unless of course you use all your energy attempting to not be alone. Not me though! I use about 10% of my energy on men (which explains the singleness), 60% on my writing and acting (or talking about writing and acting), 10% on remembering not to fall asleep at work, and the final 20% on binging on Netflix. (Sometimes my writing and acting energy and my Netflix energy can be switched around). SO if you’re alone on Valentines Day, don’t be sad! Grab another pathetic lonely friend, the most big lonely pathetic couple of bottles of wine (one for each), and watch my sketches from the past three years of Valentines Days. WHOA SEGUE ALERT!

This sketch is one my roommates and I made on my iPad in our apartment. That much is obvious. But it’s just three girls talking about what their Ideal Valentines Days would be:

This next one was made for Valentines Day 2014. Was it released on Valentines Day? No. We couldn’t make the deadline. But I include it because it is very morbid and my friend who made it did a great job. Gives you an idea about where I may have been mentally last Valentines Day…. 🙂

The last one is from Valentines Day 2013. Where I first thought to myself that I should try and make a sketch every year for Valentines Day. Does that mean that I feed into the frenzy that is Valentines Day? Yes, perhaps, but fuck you for trying to ignore it. This sketch is full of some of my favorite funny ladies. I recall laughing so hard I was crying and had to leave the room while we filmed a couple of the scenes. ERMAGOD and my hair was short:

All these videos are in my video section. The last two have been for a while. No big deal. Happy Valentines Day to everyone, single or taken. But mostly to those who are single. And are men. With good jobs. Who are funny. And have their own apartments. And their own cars. And who are tall. And think I’m pretty.