I'm a comedienne living in Los Angeles who talks like a sailor. I have other blogs, but I try to hard to be funny in them. Do people give a shit of what I have to say when I'm not being funny? Probably not, so I have no idea what my angle with this blog is. Guess we'll just have to see.
Hey everyone!!! Got a new video for your viewing pleasure!
Your production company? Yeah dude, the lovely and talented Kate Murdoch and I have teamed together to create Ladies Lunch Productions! We’ve got a lot of exciting stuff coming up and this is just the beginning!!!
So enjoy this spooky video as we wrap up one of the first weeks of October (the spookiest month of course)!
Insider SCOOP on this vid, it was filmed in an apartment that doesn’t have A/C on what was the hottest day of the year in Los Angeles. Sooo Kate and I were working with about 96 degree heat inside when we shot this! But the show must go on!
EDIT*** There is a temporary PW on the video because it’s currently being submitted to festivals!
Hello everyone! Wanting to add an exciting update on the site, which is that I have started a new podcast and episode one is up one SoundCloud now!!! Listen as Stephen Peltier (screenwriter, 12 years of Catholic school), Mickey Broussard (cohost on Nooner podcast, 12 years of Catholic school), and Erika Curry (comedian, grew up Church of Christ) all explain to me the stories of the Bible!
This is not a religious podcast, nor is it an anti-religious podcast. It’s just a fun look at the bible and analyzing these insane stories that myself and likely many others with loosely religious families (church was reserved for funerals and Easter) don’t really know!
For example, remember Noah with the Arc? Did you know his son saw his dick once when he passed out drunk? Me neither, but that story is in the bible! (I think it’s episode 2 or 3) So please click the link, subscribe and enjoy!
I was fortunate to sit down and have my little old face snapped lots of times by the lovely Naiyah D. Scaife. Actress, Writer, Photographer. Here’s a link to her twitter! Here are a few of the shots from that morning!
Hello hello hello! Welcome to 2017! A year that is set to be significantly better than last year (hopefully)! I began my year in Paris, France with my lovely boyfriend. There we were, just hours after the countdown and into the new year drunkenly arguing on where I left my phone in the french pub, only to discover it was in his back pocket. c’est romantique! But truly, what a wonderful vacation in a wonderful city with a wonderful person. I can’t wait to go back someday.
BUT down to business, what does 2017 have in store for Cassandra? This is her website right? That’s what this post should be about? YES.
Well, although I can’t share all the specifics just yet, I can say that there will be some new shorts coming out this year with the help of Ranko Petrovic and Last Chanz Productions! I’m also in development with the wonderful director Brooke Waldrop for a short film written by and starring me, so keep an eye out for more details on that along with other awesome ‘tent (content if you’re a square). And hey, in the meantime check out one of Brooke’s hilarious sketches on Funny or Die!
As always, you can catch me weekly on the Smodcast Network’s Nooner Podcast. Make sure to subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or where ever you listen to your podcasts. And if you need a sweet bump of comedy every Tuesday morning you can listen LIVE from 9AM-11AM as we record and stream on the Smodcast’s streaming website.
Finally, anyone in Los Angeles make sure to keep checking back on my live shows since I can only hope and pray that there are many this year. Coming up starting this Saturday (1/21/17) I will be in a play called “Periphery”. It focuses on the lives and opinions of the people in Greensboro, NC during the 1960’s Woolworth’s Sit Ins. It’s a fantastic play focusing on a historic movement for Civil Rights. I’m proud to be a part of such an important play with such a talented cast and crew. We run for 6 weeks and I specifically will be on the Saturday evening performances. You can buy tickets here. Use the code “GOOD” for the friend’s and family discount.
FINALLY finally, I’ve got a show on 2/14/17 at The Pack Theater in Los Angeles. It’s called “The Citizenship Test Show”! Please come out and support as we hope to make this a regular show at The Pack and we need your support! More details to come, but I mean, you didn’t really have anything planned for Valentine’s Day did you??
Okay, that’s all for now. If you haven’t already make sure to follow me on Instagram (@casscardenes), Twitter (@casscardenes again) and snapchat (casscardenes if you didn’t guess already). Also go like my Facebook page (Cassandra Cardenes)! Check back on this site often since you like the look of my face and/or the sound of my voice, and for fun head over to my iMDB page to keep my star meter in or above the 666,000’s. Because that’s where it is now and I’m feeling pretty fine, so thanks Satan!
I’m sitting outside of the airport waiting to pick someone up and stinking my car up with farts from a weekend of Italian food…. Wait, what? You’re on my website to watch videos, check for show dates, and generally find out who the fuck I am?
Well that’s embarrassing, but also sums up just who I am. Someone with a sensative stomach and an over sharing problem. Check out my stand up to hear more.
Okay, I’ll be frank, I’m just updating my page because it’s time to. I can say this: I have some exciting stuff going on that I’m not allowed to talk about. I SWEAR THOUGH!!
That is seriously the best way to bullshit people as an actor “oh yeah big things in the works but I’m not allowed to talk about them, you understand.”
I mean it though. Here is a pic I took before and audition for a film that I booked. I can do that right? Oh I’m being sued? Fuck.
YO did you guys know I cut my hair? That’s a career update if I’ve ever heard one.
Anyway, keep checking back because I love you so much. More details and things coming soon.