UCB Comedy

So in order to submit my improv team Calico High School to the DCM 17 (which I did and hopefully we make it) I had to log into an account that I didn’t know I had. So here is a link to my UCB Comedy page which has nothing useful on it except a huge picture of DMX.

http://www.cassandracardenes.ucbcomedy.com

Happy Tuesday you fucks.

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Valentines Day. Some sketches.

Well, here it is again… Valentines Day! As a single lady, I actually keep forgetting that it’s coming up. Okay, not true, I totally haven’t forgotten, BUT I don’t feel a lot of pressure leading up to it. I have nothing to expect! When you’re in a relationship I feel like it means more to you because you’re wondering what sweet gesture the other person is going to do.. Will he buy me flowers? Will he take me to crowded restaurant where we will be waited on by a miserable server who is going to be trying to get us in and out in less than 45 minutes? Will he buy me a gift? Will he PROPOSE!? It’s only been 4 months but like.. WE’RE IN LOVE! If he doesn’t propose I’ll scream….

Yup! I’m completely single! Nobody to disappoint this year! Except my friends and 50 Shades Of Grey.

fifty shades gifSpending Valentines Day wallowing in the fact that you’re alone is a complete waste of energy. Unless of course you use all your energy attempting to not be alone. Not me though! I use about 10% of my energy on men (which explains the singleness), 60% on my writing and acting (or talking about writing and acting), 10% on remembering not to fall asleep at work, and the final 20% on binging on Netflix. (Sometimes my writing and acting energy and my Netflix energy can be switched around). SO if you’re alone on Valentines Day, don’t be sad! Grab another pathetic lonely friend, the most big lonely pathetic couple of bottles of wine (one for each), and watch my sketches from the past three years of Valentines Days. WHOA SEGUE ALERT!

This sketch is one my roommates and I made on my iPad in our apartment. That much is obvious. But it’s just three girls talking about what their Ideal Valentines Days would be:

This next one was made for Valentines Day 2014. Was it released on Valentines Day? No. We couldn’t make the deadline. But I include it because it is very morbid and my friend who made it did a great job. Gives you an idea about where I may have been mentally last Valentines Day…. πŸ™‚

The last one is from Valentines Day 2013. Where I first thought to myself that I should try and make a sketch every year for Valentines Day. Does that mean that I feed into the frenzy that is Valentines Day? Yes, perhaps, but fuck you for trying to ignore it. This sketch is full of some of my favorite funny ladies. I recall laughing so hard I was crying and had to leave the room while we filmed a couple of the scenes. ERMAGOD and my hair was short:

All these videos are in my video section. The last two have been for a while. No big deal. Happy Valentines Day to everyone, single or taken. But mostly to those who are single. And are men. With good jobs. Who are funny. And have their own apartments. And their own cars. And who are tall. And think I’m pretty.